"How to Say No without feeling Awful about yourself. ( A Few Tips I Learned)

It’s perfectly okay to say no without being guilt-tripped.

I know for some of us, saying no feels like a trauma response like when you were little, saying no or expressing your feelings felt like a death penalty. 

But if you can’t say no, you leave yourself vulnerable, and that makes you an easy target for leeches and abusers. That’s why self-awareness and emotional intelligence matter, and why healthy boundaries matter even more. You should learn to say no unashamedly and unapologetically as long as you’re not being condescending.

I’m not saying don’t help anyone. Help when it’s your choice, when it won’t inconvenience you, not because someone won’t take no for an answer or because they’re only using you. A healthy, non-toxic person will understand that "You're busy and be patient. While a toxic person will give you the silent treatment or act entitled.

When I learned to protect my boundaries, saying no became easy. I say it chin up high. It’s not easy to manipulate me anymore. I wish I’d protected my boundaries earlier it would’ve saved me from toxic individuals who drained me by pulling me back and forth.

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BE A PEOPLE-PLEASER: 

*People will stop encroaching on your life with unsolicited advice. because you are not indecisive.

*It protects your mental health. you don't go back regretting why you didn't say no initially.

*It makes you look confident in yourself. people regard you when you're not an easy nut to crack.

 *It protects your peace. Knowing you did not start what you can not finish. 

“No” is just a two-letter word. Learn to say it when you don’t feel like doing something, especially if you’re not obligated to. It’s bliss now, My days of Messiah Syndrome are over. "I don't feel the urge to save everyone when I'm  exhausted." choosing yourself should be paramount to you and not negotiable, it does not make you a bad person rather it shows high level of emotional intelligent and that you're  self-aware.

 The people who stayed respect your feelings and boundaries, and the wrong people will walk away. That's how you create balance and be the chief pilot in your life.

 My days of overly understanding people who intentionally misunderstand me are over. Protect yourself, don't  let anyone give you life trauma. If you don’t, you’ll start seeing everything negatively  the love and fun memories will fade, and anxiety takes their place.

I’m not hard to deal with now I’m just not easy to fool again. And I’m in my best era, because saying no exposed the energy-sucking vampires who take and take from me until I’m exhausted and now I’m left with people of like minds, who understand that we must not get all we want all the time. When I say no, respectfully, and you make a fuss about it, I will go no contact.

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